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Friday, February 06, 2004

 
Pick a Lane
Philosophically and theologically, I am all for taking that middle path. Go ahead, drive directly down the center line, if that's what floats your boat. You can draw good from all sides, extremes from none. It is an excellent thing, very Zen and all that.

But when you are driving in real life, in an actual car, made of steel and glass, you must pick a lane! Seriously, driving isn't really a metaphor for life, people. I'm not demanding that you commit yourself to some overriding philosophy for all time, nor trying to corner you into taking a position, nor forcing you to curtail your creativity of thought by demanding you stay between the lines of social conformity. I'm asking that you decide whether you want to be in the left lane, or the right lane, and once you decide on one, you need to stay there when I am trying to drive around you.

I know that curves are hard. Sometimes it's hard to be prepared for all the twists and turns life throws at us. But it's a street. You drive on it every day. The curves are immutable and unchanging. You are prepared for these. There is no cause for you to be unable to stay on your side of the painted line, no matter how many of those little curves there are in a row. You can take them slowly if you want to, I don't care. I just want you to stay in your lane.

I'm also not into lane evangelism. I don't think my lane is better than yours, and you should join me for the salvation of your driving soul. In fact, one might accuse me of being a segregationist. I don't want you to join me in the truth that is my lane; I want you to be happy in your lane, and stay there. If, however, you have decided that my lane is the place to be, show that you have put some forethought into this decision by using your turn signal. It's there for a reason. It's a signal, meaning it gives other people a clue about your intentions. It is a tool of communication, much like your cell phone, except when you use a turn signal, you are communicating with many people at the same time! I know this is amazing and perhaps miraculous, but you will come to see that it is true and good.

And so I say unto you, my brothers and sisters of the road, PICK A LANE!!!

Amen.

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